nikki-leah22:

nikki-leah22:

nikki-leah22:

homestuckpatternreference:

iamthesylveon:

f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s:

gryphynshadow:

silencingthedrums:

zeaky:

sliceofbri:

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET

SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS

GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS 

AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO

WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.

There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.

The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)

so what you’re saying is
i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns
and have grey body paint

i think i know where that’s going

i think we all know where that’s going

I don’t know where that’s going. However I just tried this. The concoction is now in the fridge. And I am aprehensive about it working because:
Somehow an entire jar of Coconut Oil dissapeared from my kitchen and silly me I didn’t think about this until AFTER I HAD ALREADY STARTED. So I did a little swicher-oo and used 2 tsp of olive oil, and a tsp of fresh honey. I stained my hands and now I don’t know if the lipstick would work but I want to BELIEVE! Help me believe my precious followers! HELP ME BELIEVE. Update to come.

Okay, okay. IT FRIGGING WORKS. Granted the honey and olive oil base is a bit more permanent than what a coconut base would be. Though it looks FANTASTIC. If I could I would take a picture and post it, but can’t so take my word for it okay? IT LOOKS GREAT. Now be for warned it has to set or it doesn’t work! Also once it is cooled in the fridge yo get it back up to room temperute by smothing out the top for around a minuite. Then wala! Lipstick!! I made black lipstick so I don’t know how it would work with a lighter color. I also added in Vanilla! Loving the Honey and Vanilla smell!! Love it!

Here you go http://mrbritishhimself.tumblr.com/
Did… Did I do that correctly? I don’t think I did that correctly… _._

nikki-leah22:

nikki-leah22:

nikki-leah22:

homestuckpatternreference:

iamthesylveon:

f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s:

gryphynshadow:

silencingthedrums:

zeaky:

sliceofbri:

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET

SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS

GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS 

AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO

WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

DO NOT DO THIS.

DO NOT DO THIS.

DO NOT DO THIS.

NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.

There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.

The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)

You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.

Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.

Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.

BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.

Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)

so what you’re saying is

i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns

and have grey body paint

i think i know where that’s going

i think we all know where that’s going

I don’t know where that’s going. However I just tried this. The concoction is now in the fridge. And I am aprehensive about it working because:

Somehow an entire jar of Coconut Oil dissapeared from my kitchen and silly me I didn’t think about this until AFTER I HAD ALREADY STARTED. So I did a little swicher-oo and used 2 tsp of olive oil, and a tsp of fresh honey. I stained my hands and now I don’t know if the lipstick would work but I want to BELIEVE! Help me believe my precious followers! HELP ME BELIEVE. Update to come.

Okay, okay. IT FRIGGING WORKS. Granted the honey and olive oil base is a bit more permanent than what a coconut base would be. Though it looks FANTASTIC. If I could I would take a picture and post it, but can’t so take my word for it okay? IT LOOKS GREAT. Now be for warned it has to set or it doesn’t work! Also once it is cooled in the fridge yo get it back up to room temperute by smothing out the top for around a minuite. Then wala! Lipstick!! I made black lipstick so I don’t know how it would work with a lighter color. I also added in Vanilla! Loving the Honey and Vanilla smell!! Love it!

Here you go http://mrbritishhimself.tumblr.com/

Did… Did I do that correctly? I don’t think I did that correctly… _._

(Source: sliceofspoopy)

306,409 notes

hellokristenx:

chamelion-circuit:

amordelfriki:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call that a confession.

I’ve gotten more angry asks about this post than I have actual reblogs.

I literally put my coffee down, stared at the screen and said “Holy shit…”

Fuck.

this is still my favorite post ever

250,079 notes

The saddest word
in the whole wide world
is the word almost.


He was almost in love.
She was almost good for him.
He almost stopped her.
She almost waited.
He almost lived.
They almost made it.

Tiny Stories  (via fawun)

(Source: untamedunwanted)

126,322 notes

grizzlygains:

happyhalloweekes:

spoopy-shanin:

I’m not too late for the cute lil ghosts, right?

Of course you have to drag it and be amazed

THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET

grizzlygains:

happyhalloweekes:

spoopy-shanin:

I’m not too late for the cute lil ghosts, right?

Of course you have to drag it and be amazed

THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET

225,790 notes

thisisemobuddy:

party-into-thesun:

sharkchunks:

basedgosh:

why would she sell sea shells by a sea shore when you can just pick them off of the ground for free that’s not how you run a business

She’s sold sea shells by the seashore since shapely seashore seashells stay scarce. Since she sells superior shells searchers spend centuries searching for, seldom selling simple shells, so she still sustains solid savings.

image

i’m so sorry english language learners

(Source: canadad)

210,903 notes

theactorsmind:

raeloganthemephilesfangirl:

charlottec21:

I love it how when Snape draws out his wand there are audible gasps but when Mcgonagall draws her wand there people are screaming out of the way.

They just know better.

damn snape is piss-OH MOTHERFUCKING SHIT, MOVE OUT, CLEAR THE WAY, MCGONAGALL IS PISSED.

theactorsmind:

raeloganthemephilesfangirl:

charlottec21:

I love it how when Snape draws out his wand there are audible gasps but when Mcgonagall draws her wand there people are screaming out of the way.

They just know better.

damn snape is piss-OH MOTHERFUCKING SHIT, MOVE OUT, CLEAR THE WAY, MCGONAGALL IS PISSED.

413,787 notes

ATTENTION

madvlogz:

savanaugh:

souleaterunlimited:

savanaugh:

I AM ON A MISSION. I AM GOING TO FOLLOW EVERY BLOG ON THIS SITE. ALL OF THEM. HELP ME ACHIEVE THIS GOAL, INTERNET STRANGERS, BY REBLOGGING THIS POST AND I WILL FOLLOW ALL WHO REBLOG IT. E V E R Y O N E.

I want to call bullshit but I can’t take that chance 

good.

holy shit you’re really doing it

149,526 notes

theirtinywings:

serenakenobi:

jadefyre:

savingsergeantbarnes:

what if in avengers 2 steve sticks his hand out waiting for his shield to bounce back to him but instead he gets the mjolnir

"Well done my colorful friend! Mjolnir has chosen a worthy wielder!"

"This shield does much damage! I like it!"

"This shield, I like it. ANOTHER!"
*throws it, watches it bounce wildly, hears something shatter, hears Tony scream*

(Source: punkamis)

127,221 notes

blue-eyed-skeleton:

1innea:

kittenesque:

pr1nceshawn:

Husbands can be incredibly helpful.

That one with the Christmas lights is creative, though!

Husbands are incredibly useless

fucking useless husbands

151,608 notes